Name: Lin Xhuang
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Occupation: Student
Social Class: Middle Class
Financial situation: Not too much surplus of anything, but enough to get education
Appearance: Fit, tall, classy (people say that I look very, very old for my age)
Location ( map ): Suzhou, China
Habitual locations: house located near west Suzhou.
Daily routine: I wake up, eat, and then walk to school. It is very close, so I can wake up around 20 minutes before school starts (it starts at 7:00AM) and still arrive on time. At 5, I come back home. I finish my school work, and then help my mom with the house chores. Before I go to bed, I always read the papers that my father has brought. When the war started, I didn't really have a daily routine. Instead, I had a goal that shaped my routines: to survive.
Personality/Quirks/Unique Personality Traits: I have a quick mind, and tend to like adventures. I enjoy suspense, and I am very patient. I do not get angry or intimidated easily. The most important thing to me is my life, and the life of others in especially in my family. I value my life a lot.
Past/individual-family history: My dad's father, unlike many men at the time, was neither a farmer nor a soldier. Instead, he, like his father, was a shoe maker. My grandfather told my dad the skills of making a good shoe, and now, my father himself is quite famous throughout Suzhou.
Family: Having a brother who is 3 years younger than me, I have quite a lot of responsibility in the household. First of all, my dad is a well-known shoe maker in Suzhou. From this, we get fairly good income. However, having 2 kids (including myself) who are both male, both learning education, and both at the time of their life when they consume a lot of food, our family does not have a lot of money to spend on other goods than the necessities. My mom is a housewife, and my brother and I often help her with house chores when we are not busy.
Social relations with your own and other classes (people you deal with or know about in other classes, AND your opinions and feelings about them): As I said before, I have a lot of patience. This allows me to really get to know people, and determine in my head whether they are someone who is a good person or a bad person. But for all, I show respect – age is also not a matter in this factor. For classes lower than my own, I do not comprehend this fact as something big, and act the same to them just like I do to those of my own class. For those above me, I do not get to see them very often, but when I do, I also pay the respect and have admiration for them.
Religion: Confucianism/Buddhism
Education: Last stages of education
Portrait:

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Diary #1: Calm before the Storm
July 7, 1937

Japan finally declared war on us. When I say finally, I say it because Japan has been developing so fast and has been adopting from the west so well – particularly from the locomotives and other military weaponry this supposedly great man Matthew Perry was supposed to have brought to Japan some decades ago – that it was evident that Japan wanted to conquer most of Asia, with their belief of being invincible if they were united, and it was only a matter of time. Also, by saying finally, I, Lin Xhuang, by no means want to sound as if I am glad that Japan is finally challenging us. I am completely against the war; when I heard the news at school, I was shocked and immediately ran home after lunch. My dad was, too, early from work, and he was sitting at the dining table with mom. When they saw me, they invited me to join the conversation.
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They first told me how China, although much bigger than Japan in size, is very vulnerable right now – with generals not in their best conditions, and how we aren’t the same, strong China we were decades ago…we have gotten so weak every since the Europeans came in and created what they call “spheres of influence”. Also, the Japs having been westernized so fast compared to the pace that we westernized at (mainly due to the fact that we tried to resist it first, because we are quite self-sufficient), have an advantage over us in terms of military. But what my mom and dad were most concerned about was the safety of my brother and myself. They said that we were both old enough – especially me, being the older of the two – to be recruited. Suzhou is not too far off from the coastal line where Japan is most likely to hit from, thus, it will only be a matter of time before officers start coming to my city, recruiting and setting up camps. To make things worse, this is right next to the capital city – Nanking – thus the Japanese will definitely want to conquer this city to be able to easily move into Nanking. I have already heard that Tang Sheng-Chih , a respected officer with quite a lot of experience, is the general in charge of Nanking’s defense and safety. Although this man is said to be very experienced, I am worried right now, and very frustrated, because the Chinese officials should focus on reinforcing the areas near Nanking so that Nanking will not even be put in danger. But no matter what I think about this, there is no way to voice my opinions to the Chinese officials, so I should forget about this.
Right now, just the thought of being recruited and killing people, and possibly being killed is driving me insane. Most importantly and most sadly, I am afraid that I might lose all my years of hard studying, where many of my dad and my mom's hard worked money has been spent to, will be lost in a single day. May our lords help us.
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Diary # 2: A Knock at the Gate
November 25, 1937

Many things have happened since my last journal entry, and many events that happened changed my life. First event that happened was that I got drafted into the army. It was a Thursday, and with our school closing down – a procedure due to war breaking out – I was home. A knock came, and my mom opened it. It was a Chinese officer, dressed in clean military suites. He came in on his own will, and said something like this: “China needs you. It is time to serve your country, and prove yourself a worthy man to both your family and the people of China”. Of course I did not want to serve the military, but that was not up to me. My parents and I already knew that this knock would come, sooner or later. And so I agreed – I am sure I would have still been drafted even if I told that man I did not want to join – and joined the army. I was just happy that my brother did not join. He told my family and me that he will come back to get me in a couple of days. When that day came, I gave all my family members a big hug, and left with the officer. The second event – I should say a series of event – that changed my life was the things that happened when I arrived at a camp near the eastern end of Suzhou.
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First of all, the food was terrible – we only got small rice balls and some kind of pastry that was as hard as a rock. Next, the uniforms we – the recruits – received were nothing like the shiny one I saw on the officer that visited my house. Our uniforms were rugged and definitely looked used. I wonder if these are from former recruits, who might have lost their lives during a battle. Thirdly, we barely got trained. This can be explained partly by the fact that the Japanese advanced much quicker than we expected to Suzhou. The battle at Suzhou, my home city, was the third event that changed my life. Not only was it my first battle, but I experienced pain – not from my body, but from my heart. This is what happened:
I woke to the sounds of sirens ringing throughout the camp, and sounds of Japanese soldiers – their screams and charging footsteps. When I stepped outside, it was just like the scene of the unbelievable defeat that we, the Chinese, faced at Shanghai a couple of days ago (and I say unbelievable because I have heard that we had two times the number of troops than that of the Japanese, and yet we still lost) – smoke everywhere, people running, cries, and just simply chaos. An officer bumped into me, and yelled at me to get ready for battle. I put on my uniform, picked up my rifle, and ran with the group. We were not organized, and hungry. Just like how I cannot study when I am hungry, I could not fight with this empty stomach of mine. And I was not alone. After approximately 15 minutes into battle, I saw numerous soldiers from our side fleeing. Officers were yelling, and some were chasing after these soldiers, telling them that they will shoot any traitors. I feel tremendous guilt when I say that I was one of the many of these traitors, deserting – I did this because of two reasons: one, I couldn't fight because I really did not get any training and food, two, I knew that we couldn't win when I saw the tanks the Japanese had. But where did I go? I found hospitality in my cousin’s house, located near the eastern edge of Nanking – thank god it was the eastern edge, not western edge, for I am not sure if I would have made it here if it was located in the west end (I came mainly by foot). Xie Kwang is her name, and she is a very caring person. When I told her that I ran away, she completely understood, and she tried her best to comfort me. Without her, I would not have been able to control myself after visiting my house secretly, and seeing that the Japanese have killed my family. So here I am, in my cousin’s house, not knowing what to do from here.nanking_massacre_1172089.jpg

Diary # 3: The Gates Come Tumbling Down
December 14, 1937
My mind is much straighter now. After days of just resting, I was able to calm myself down, and think no more of the loss I experienced a couple days ago. But what is happening in China is bewildering my mind.
My cousin, Xie Kwang, told me this morning that the Southern part of Nanking was already taken. I was informed that the Japanese will have a three-way attack during my time at a camp near Suzhou, thus, it will only be a matter of time before the Japanese start battling more Chinese near the main gate of Nanking. Or should I say before the Chinese start greeting the
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Japanese near the main gate? Along with the news that the southern part of Nanking is already in chaos, my cousin told me that many Chinese civilians living in Nanking are actually
going to the Japanese with the Japanese banner and greeting them. This not only angers me, but seems like a joke to me: do the civilians of China actually think that the Japanese will spare the lives of those who greet them when they (the Japanese) don’t have any benefits whatsoever in letting the civilians live? This thought of mine might seem a bit radical, especially for someone like me who’s had a lot of schooling. But after what I’ve seen and experienced at Suzhou, I have only one thing to say: the Japanese are not humans, but devils. They have gone against the “rules” of warfare by attacking the innocent and the weak: women, children, the elderly. I had the privilege to share thoughts like this of mine with an American protestant missionary. We met at an alley way, and after identifying ourselves, I quickly took him to my cousin's house, for it was extremely dangerous to converse at an alley – just staying there wouldn't be safe. His name was George Ashmore Fitch. It was a very strange experience for me to talk with a foreigner – especially about something that was so related to China, and only China, that I was surprised that he even cared about it. After about two hours of talking, it was getting late, and he said he better go.
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He thanked me for the tea I provided him, and wished me luck. George also told me that he was planning to – that is, if he lived through this massacre – travel around the world, informing the world of this horrible event that happened in Nanking, China. He said what he heard from me was very valuable information that he could use in this future presentation of his, and he really looked excited when he was just telling me this plan of his. I really hope that he survives, and I felt great affection from George, because he was an American and he cared so much about us, the citizens of China. I wish there were more people like George – then there wouldn't be such a horrible event like this happening to anyone.

Diary # 4: Through the Gates into Hell
December 17, 1937
The mighty gates of Nanking that looked so strong before do not look the same, now that it has opened up fully for the brutal Japanese to come in. I have said, in my previous diary entry, that my mind was much more straight in terms of my thinking process – I am now less emotional, and the loss that I have experienced are influencing me less – but I could tell that the mind of the people of Nanking are definitely not straight. The city is in chaos. In the night, I fall asleep after listening to many screams – which is very surprising because my cousin’s house is located at an edge of Nanking. These screams, usually coming in hourly intervals, show the inhumanity and craziness of the Japanese – what kind of an army attacks civilians during the night? In addition, I can tell that the officers of the Japanese army do not care whether or not their troops are humane, or if they are abiding the rules of warfare – if the officers did care, I wouldn’t be hearing these screams. Something convinces me that the Japanese officers are no different than their coldhearted troops – only thing that distinguishes them is their badge and their uniforms. During the day, I hardly go out. One, because I am scared that I will see another brutal crime take place, and feel guilt since I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Two, I am afraid that I will see, among the many bodies lying everywhere in alleys or floating in rivers that are now stained in red, someone I knew before – say, a close friend of mine or even my professor.
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And three, because I am scared that I will confront a Japanese soldier – if that happens, I will probably die a brutal death, like many other citizens of Nanking has died. Furthermore, I will no longer be able to protect my remaining family member – my cousin, Xie Kwang. (I have not been informed by my cousin that she got raped the other day, and feel that I am being a great cousin by fulfilling my role as being the male in the house – through protecting her).
Tonight, I go to bed once again, to the terrifying lullabies that the cruel Japanese make every night. Sometimes I feel that I just want to go out there, and force out all the Japanese troops in Nanking, and all other parts of our homeland China. But even if I can beat one Japanese soldier, I cannot beat an entire army. This frustrates me.

Diary # 5: A Survivor
December 14, 1950.

You never know what will come next in your life. Just like no Chinese really knew that the Japanese were going to be such devils, raping and looting innocent civilians and cities of China, I never knew that I was ever going to meet George again. It is an ecstatic phenomenon that I survived through the Nanking Massacre with my cousin, and that George lived through it too, and that George and I were reunited after exactly 13 years. On the other hand, there were many tragedies that I experienced from this event too. First, I lost all my family members except my cousin. Never will I be able to forget the day I entered my ruined house in Suzhou the day the Japanese attacked, and saw my family members lying there, on the floor, unable to move or breathe. Furthermore, whenever I visit the Yangtze river, I can not believe what I see – pure, blue, water flowing. They were so red...that I never knew it'd ever get its natural color back.
A shocking news that George told me today was the fact that in Japan, this massacre was not reported as realistically. The government has censored this event, saying that everything was under control in Nanking, and the military operations happening in Nanking were all humane and necessary – shame on the government of Japan. How could the Japanese government say that burning the houses of thousands of innocent people, killing innocent citizens including children of young age, and raping hundreds of women right in front of their husbands was humane and necessary?
The genocide – and I say genocide for the Japanese killed deliberately, without any specific purpose or meaning, thousands of Chinese people, damaging our culture, tradition, and most importantly our identity and life – that took place in Nanking, China, is one that all that have experienced it will not be able to forget.
*warning, the video below contains very graphic images of the Rape of Nanking, 1937
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Citation

http://i408.photobucket.com/albums/pp168/yannie_valmero/Being%20Filipino/OldChineseMan.jpg
http://photo.net/general-comments/attachment/4321015/souzhou0004-510.jpg
http://factsanddetails.com/media/2/20090527-t-1937-1%20attack%20of%20shangahi%20tales%20of%20old%20shanghia.jpg
http://english.president.gov.tw/Portals/4/images/IntroductionROC/nationalsymbols/flagdot.png
http://magna.aimoo.com/DOGS-OF-WAR/NANKING-MASSACRE-1-880844.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Bundesarchiv_Bild_183-U1002-502,_Japanisch-Chinesischer_Krieg.jpg
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